Thursday, November 20, 2014 ; 12:27 AM♥
Dear Diary,
I had a heartbreak downfall 2 weeks ago. I understood the road we went through but I knew it wasn't the reason why. All relationships go through a roller coaster but that is love, and because we love, we always know it is just a step to being stronger and having more memories. So is it possible to unlove someone you've known for 12 years in a matter of 6-10 days? Is it possible to forget love just like that?
I was sad, then I was angry, and now I'm just, numb.
I may have lost someone I love. He gave, as well as I did. He forgave, as well as I did. He didn't give me a chance, as much as I did. I remained loyal & honest. I gave love without ever counting how much. I thought I knew the bestfriend I'd known and spoken to everyday since we were 13. He had downs in his life. Family & friends were important to him. We never crossed the line with each other, until we fell in love 3 years ago. We took a risk trusting one another on a different level. What we had was too good to be true. And while he said he'd never leave, he did.
But he too had lost someone who aimed at beautifying his future; the happy family, the daily bickering, the daily make up, the cooking, the food tasting, the settling of bills together, the exploring, the sillyness, the discussions, the kids, the grandkids, the illnesses, the religion, and the death. I never promised a good life because that is unrealistic. But I promised the ride would be memorable and filled with nothing but love. Ups & downs would have been nothing compared to the news we'll see in 2060. He would have been able to focus on his dreams and didn't have to worry because I would have stayed committed, loyal & work hard for our families. It wasn't just me he threw, but it was that future too.
I felt what I thought was real love, and the relationship grew only stronger with every mess we made. Not up to perfection, but improvements matter more.
Though I can promise you that no love for him will be bigger than this, apart from those of his family, I was also shown that there wasn't a point in working for a future with someone who would give you up in days, maybe for someone he feels can do more.
So today, there is nothing for me to let go of. I'm keeping it all in my heart, because I am strong enough to appreciate. If I wanted to make our lives that beautiful, though it wasn't wanted, imagine how much more beautiful it could be when someone wants that for me too. Life is more beautiful than it seem sometimes. But He has been helping me, and I am thankful for that.
Love,
Nadia M.
